Texting+Teens = Fatal Connections

As a mother of two teen daughters, one of whom just turned 18 and has been a licensed driver for 2 years, I am constantly trying to stay connected to them when they are out of the home. The best way for me to stay connected to them is, of course, through their cell phone. We are a texting family. Texting is just easier to do and it is, of course, the teenagers top choice for communication. The days of picking up and phone and dialing a number seem somewhat obsolete, especially if you are a part of Generation iY.  We do have a rule in our house, though, regarding texting and driving. It is an absolute "NO". Any wavering from this rule is a possible punishment of taking the car away. As a parent, I expect my daughter to stay connected when she is out and we have an understanding that if I text and she is driving, she is to wait until the car is stopped before she responds to my text. Staying connected to her is important, but  staying connected to her while she is driving could lead to a fatal connection and this is not a risk I am willing to take. 

The statistics regarding teen crashes are staggering. Drivers younger than 20 had the highest distracted-driving fatality rate among all age groups last year, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Drivers 20 to 29 ranked second.

The administration said that 5,870 people died and about 515,000 were injured last year in accidents attributed to distracted driving. Texting while driving, aka TWD, has now become in my opinion, as dangerous as drinking and driving. A recent survey by Pew Internet  and American Life Project  found the following startling statistics regarding teens and texting:

• 75% of all American teens ages 12-17 own a cell phone, and 66% use their phones to send or receive text messages.
• Older teens are more likely than younger teens to have cell phones and use text messaging; 82% of teens ages 16-17 have a cell phone and 76% of that cohort are cell texters.
• One in three (34%) texting teens ages 16-17 say they have texted while driving. That translates into 26% of all American teens ages 16-17.
• Half (52%) of cell-owning teens ages 16-17 say they have talked on a cell phone while driving. That translates into 43% of all American teens ages 16-17.
• 48% of all teens ages 12-17 say they have been in a car when the driver was texting.
• 40% say they have been in a car when the driver used a cell phone in a way that put themselves or others in danger
• Boys and girls are equally likely to report texting behind the wheel; 34% of each group say they have used text messaging while driving.

Amanda Lenhart, co-author of the report, claims that teens are well aware of the risks associated with texting while driving, “But the desire to stay connected is so strong for teens and their parents that safety sometimes takes a backseat to staying in touch with friends and family.”

How can we, as parents, stay connected to our kids without taking a backseat to their safety? Below are a few suggestions that may help.

1. Be An Example:  81 percent of U.S. residents said they have used their cellphone while driving, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration If you expect your kids to not text while driving, then you, as a parent, must set the example and put the phone down while you are behind the wheel. You are their role model and as such should set the standard.

2. Be Accountable:  Set texting boundaries with your teen. Come up with a plan so that you are both on the same page regarding texting limits. Follow through with this plan. If you are trying to get in touch with your child and do not receive an immediate response, be patient and give them time to reach a stopping place while they are driving so they may safely text you back

3. Be Tech Savy:  Keep track of the cell phone texting times via the phone bill so that you will be aware if your teen is texting with friends while driving. Consider new technology solutions that limit texting availability on phones.

•  Handsfree Devices
• Text Blockers
• Smart Limits for phones via ATT  Click here for more information: 

4. Be Proactive: Get connected and familiar to the laws in your state regarding texting. Consider becoming more active in your community to encourage other teens and parents, as well as lawmakers. Lobby for stricter state laws. Your state may not have laws against texting and driving, but it is up to you as their parent to set the boundaries for your teens. You have been given these precious gifts from God and in the end, it is up to you, the parent, to set  the rules of cell phone use for your teen. Click  to learn more about texting in your state .

More Resources:


Focus Driven

National Highway and Transportation Safety Administration

Click here to guage your distraction level while texting

6/15/2009

Reading. It is what my oldest daughter could never live without. When she was 3 years old she came to me and said, " Mommy, teach me how to read." She is now 17 and her love of books is a part of who she is. She can read a novel faster than anyone I know. There have been many times that I have caught her under the covers with a flashlight, reading away at 2 in the morning on a school night.  I hope she never loses her love of reading!

Does your child's school have the Accelerated Reader program? This is a program where the child's reading is tested and they are assigned to a certain reading level. The Accelerated Reading is a great program, but to me has a big flaw. Many kids scores put them on a reading level that is way past their maturity level. I am sure a lot of you know what I mean. This happened at our house all the time. The teachers expected my girls to read on their level, but t the books on this level were way past their maturity level. Books that I, as their mom, would not allow them to read. So, off we would head to the library and bookstores to find the books that were in their reading level and still acceptable for them to read.

I am always amazed, as I wander around the bookstore, at the novels that are geared towards teen girls. Some of them, in my opinion, are x-rated. Just the titles alone are enough for me to say to my girls, "You will not be reading this book".  My daughters are older now and thankfully they know that there are book series out there that may be "culturally acceptable" but not "Godly acceptable". One of the book series that comes to my mind is the Gossip Girls series.  So many young girls are reading these books and so many moms have no idea what their girls are soaking up into their minds. God wants our daughters to grow up in purity of mind and spirit, and reading this type of book is just going to muddy both. God wants them to become mature in Christ, not mature in what the world wants them to be like. God wants them to have a pure heart. "Create in me a pure heart, O God" (Psalm 51:10). Growing an Agape Girl© may mean censorship on your part, mom, but in the process you are shaping a heart and a mind that will grow in purity and spiritual maturity.

If you have any questions about whether or not your daughter should be reading a certain book, open it up and thumb through it yourself. It won't take long to find out if it is an acceptable book!

6/10/2009

Summertime for me means freckles, freckles and more freckles!! When I was young I always thought that when I got older the freckles were going to somehow magically disappear. Well, here I am, all grown up, and still waiting for those spots the sun brought me to magically vanish away. So with the start of summer, I begin my my annual sojourn to the beauty section of the department store in search of that miracle cream that will fade and restore my "uneven skin tone", as the beautician calls it. I was gullible enough to actually purchase quite an expensive cream, not necessarily because I thought it would make my face brighter and more radiant, but mostly because it just made my skin feel so soft. You know the feeling, don't you? I am not against using face creams of any kind and have a load of anti-wrinkle wonder creams in my drawer. But, I am still looking for that miracle fade cream that will make my face more "radiant" and blemish free. I know that my freckles are here to stay and have come to terms with that. I actually couldn't imagine myself freckle free. It is part of who I am and it is how God made me. What matters most is not the outer radiance of my skin and complexion, but the inner radiance of my heart. Psalm 34:5 says, "Those who look to Him are radiant". This is the radiance I want! I want to model Christ's radiance because that is where I will find true radiance. God's word says, " The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of His being, sustaining all things by His powerful word." (Hebrews 1:3) I want to love God and show His love, just as He loves you and me, so that one day, I will be presented to Him as a radiant church, without stain or blemish. Like I said, I know that my freckles are here to stay, there is nothing I can do about that, and really, I wouldn't change that part of me. What I can do though, is try to live each day to glorify Christ and walk in His statutes so that one day I will be presented to Him without stain or blemish!! That's the kind of radiance I seek!! I want to be radiant in Christ! Plus, it's free!!!

6/05/2009

Well, another week has come and gone and the weekend is here!! YEA!! My daughters, Emilee, who is 17, and Megan , barely 14,  just got home from Impact Camp in Toccoa, Georgia. They had an awesome time and made lots of new friends. I love to hear the camp stories and am always amazed at how they have matured in just one week away from home. I am so glad that they had the opportunity to experience a camp that grew them spiritually and connected them with other believers from all over the state of Georgia. What a fantastic time to make new friends. Friends, if chosen wisely, can be a catalyst for growth and spiritual maturity. It is so important for young girls to have a good group of godly friends that they can walk side by side with in their teen years. Why is it so hard sometimes for girls to make good friends like that and how can we help them? A survey completed by The Barna Group found that 42% of the parents of teens find that the biggest pressure their children face is that of peer pressure. How do we, as moms, keep our daughters afloat while maintaining a connection of trust with them that will last throughout these tumultuous years? I honestly believe that accountability groups, aka small groups, are one of the most important venues to help young girls connect and make lifelong friends. Such an accountability group should be started at an early age to help our daughters paddle through the ebbing tides of peer pressure. Starting an accountability group before middle school is imperative, in my opinion, to the success of such a group. An accountability group should be a venue for spiritual growth and maturity but should by no means become a "clique".  The longer a group is together the more each member will grow and mature in His love. They will, in turn, be able to show that love to others who may not know it and will be better able to discern right from wrong when faced with the pressures of everyday life. Peer pressure will show it's mighty force, tugging and pulling like the wave of the sea. How great to know that your daughter will have an accountability group beside her, ready to throw out the lifeline and pull her back into the safety of calm waters.

Yesterday I put my two teenage girls on the bus to go to Impact, a great leadership camp in Toccoa, Georgia. I am reminded every day what a true delight they are and I am so blessed to have these amazing girls that love God with all of their hearts. God gave me a passion many years ago to mentor girls and out of that passion He created an amazing group called the Agape Girls©. I am now able to see the fruits of His work through the girls that were in this group, as they are rising seniors in High School. They love the Lord with all of their hearts and are becoming leaders in their church and community. With my focus now on ministering to moms of girls in the preteen and teenage years, I truly believe that  "Growing an Agape Girl"© starts first with mom and her relationship with God. I truly delight in my girls and owe it all to Christ and His love!! How priceless is His unfailing love! (Psalm 36:7). You give drink from Your river of delights (Psalm 36:8) I don't know about you, but I am thirsty for that river water! And the great thing is , it is abundantly available for those who seek it and drink it! Consider this today, what are you delighting in? Are you delighting in possessions or status? Today, delight yourself in the Lord (Psalm 37:4). Drink from His river of delight, for it is the fountain of life (Psalm 36:9) and it is contagious!

Lori Sargent© 2009

My True Hero

5/31/2009

My True Hero

What does Memorial Day mean to you? Is it a day that you remember a loved one lost while serving for our country? Is it a day in which you are missing a loved one currently serving in the military far away from home?  Does it mean grilling out and spending time at the beach or with friends? Is it a bittersweet day for you, or a day when you feel blessed , safe and secure in the thought that many are fighting and sacrificing for your freedom? When I think about freedom and the heroes that have sacrificed and lost their lives for it, I am reminded of what true freedom is and also what a true hero is. Did you know that true freedom is found in only one way? True freedom is found through a loving relationship with Jesus Christ, my true hero.. As I sat in church yesterday, I was reminded of what a true hero is. The sermon stated 3 attributes of a true hero; A hero is willing to take a risk, a hero is willing to sacrifice their best for the best of someone else, and a hero is willing to sacrifice their life for another's freedom. John 15:13 states, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Jesus is my true hero because he chose to sacrifice His life for my freedom. On this Memorial Day, I am so thankful for all of the men and women serving in the military. I am thankful for the sacrifice they are making, the risks they are taking, and the choice they made to do so freely. I am most thankful today for my true hero, Jesus Christ, and for the love He has for me and for you!! Today, as you are spending time with friends and family and remembering the heroes serving in our military and those who have lost their lives serving, consider these two questions: Who is your true hero? Are you truly free?

This blog was originally posted on May 25...